Posts Tagged: date

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20
May 11

Nanpa: A Special Kind of Flirting in Japan

Last week we discussed goukon, group dating, in Japan. To continue in the same vein, this week we’ll discuss “nanpa,” sometimes called “nampa.” Nanpa roughly translates to “soft school” but more accurately means “talking to girls.” That “soft school” meaning is a comparison to men who pursue the traditional “hard” studies of academics and sports as opposed to men who’d rather study the art of wooing women.

Nanpa refers to young Japanese men in their teens, twenties, and sometimes thirties who hit on young women in public, usually on the streets where a lot of pedestrians walk. The men tend to dress sleekly in what’s perhaps known as a “metrosexual” look in the West (but this look is far more common and accepted in Japan). The young men who nanpa usually take the “art form” seriously and may shadow a more experienced young man for a time, read up on nanpa techniques, and spend time preparing before he starts hitting on women.

Many women are turned off by nanpa but still others will gladly take a guy up on his offer for coffee, karaoke, or tea. Young women visiting the country should be aware, though, that if ever asked to join a fancily-dressed man on the street for tea, he’s asking you out on a date. Some men may even expect a one-night stand if the date goes well–but that’s not to say that they all do. And, while some nanpa men are enjoying their youth and playing around, still others are looking for “the one,” so a date that goes well may lead to future dates.

In a country in which seriousness is valued and individuality isn’t as important as it may be in the West, nanpa is the art of those “bad boy” rebels, which some women find appealing.

The female equivalent of nanpa–in which women try to pick up men–is gyakunan, although this is far less common in Japan, especially outside of bars and singles clubs. Nevertheless, some men in Japan may find themselves pursued on the streets by go-getter women as well.

Do nanpa and gyakunan sound appealing to you? Why or why not? Would you rather hit on others or be hit on?

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13
May 11

Goukon: Japanese Group Dating

In Japan, a country in which professional matchmaking (called “omiai“) is still a viable method of meeting your fiance(e) (although a much less often used method than in the past), goukon is a popular method of meeting potential boyfriends or girlfriends. Goukon, which roughly translates to “get together party,” is like a group blind date. A single man and a single woman–friends or potential dating partners themselves–will arrange a meeting between a handful of single friends of their gender. (The goukon organizers are of course along for the ride, looking for a match themselves.)

The average group for a goukon may include between four or five people of each gender, although you can find goukon with fewer or more people. However, a total of eight to ten people is big enough to lessen the embarrassment and awkwardness of meeting new people but also small enough to allow these people to get to know one another.

A goukon usually takes place at a public, noisy place like an izakaya (a sort of bar), a location that’s welcoming for conversation over a few drinks. No one is particularly paired with anyone else although there should be an equal number of men and women so no one’s left out. The group is often seated with a man between every woman (placed randomly) so that everyone can get to know potential partners. After a self-introduction to the entire group, the individuals may focus more on getting to know the people next to them.

The groups of men and women may take frequent breaks to pull each other aside and discuss whom they find the most attractive and personable; they may also text each other during the meeting to share their thoughts without the others knowing. The people in the goukan can ask for phone numbers or e-mail addresses of the people who sparked their interest (if polite, they may want to mask which man or woman they’re particularly interested in and ask for everyone’s phone number and e-mail) and may get to know each other better later. They can also ask each other to help arrange a new goukan with some new people swapped into the group.

Have you ever been on a group date? Would you prefer a group date to a blind date where it’s just one-on-one? Why or why not?

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4
Feb 11

The Japanese Love Hotel

Valentine’s Day is approaching and chances are, the love hotels in Japan will experience an increase in business. The Japanese love hotel (actually called “rabu hoteru,” the Japanese pronunciation of the English words “love” and “hotel”) is somewhat of a uniquely Japanese cultural phenomenon for adults.

Because the metropolitan areas of Japan are especially crowded, space is limited and many apartment buildings have thin walls that can make privacy a little difficult to come by. Living with family–which is much more culturally accepted for young adults before marriage in Japan than it is in Western countries–can also complicate trying to have sexual relations with a partner. In order to have some privacy, many couples look to have their sexual encounters at love hotels. (Of course, there are people having affairs and illicit encounters that turn to love hotels as well, but the majority of customers are couples in need of privacy.)

Love hotels are different than regular hotels in that they specifically cater to people having sex and giving couples privacy. Many of these hotels have no windows and discrete entrances so that couples don’t have to worry about being seen. They often also don’t have anyone manning the front desk (but they may). Instead, couples select a room via a computer screen and deposit the room key card on their way out in order to verify that they’ve left. Couples can also often purchase sex toys and costumes via vending machines.

Many of the love hotel rooms are themed to add to the excitement. Themes can include fetishes and may also include pop culture references like anime characters or even Hello Kitty. Some theme rooms don’t resemble bedrooms at all and recreate an entire scenario, like a bad student in detention after school with a teacher, an encounter on a train car, or a nurse providing a checkup for a patient.

Love hotels are not intended for long stays. After usually 10 pm, couples may choose to pay for an overnight stay. However, they may come to the hotel at any time and stay for a shorter period (called a “rest” stay) from anywhere between one and three hours. Rates vary by hotel, but a “rest” could cost around ¥2800 to ¥4500 (~US$34 to $55) and an overnight “stay” could cost about ¥7500 to ¥12,000 (~US$92 to $147).  Leaving the hotel  before you’ve finished with your stay is usually discouraged.

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10
Dec 10

Christmas Love in Japan

Continuing from last week’s look at the typical Christmas meal in Japan, this week we’re going to take a closer look at the way the holiday is usually celebrated in Japan. In the West, with a number of notable exceptions, the holiday is primarily a reason to gather with family and friends to enjoy each other’s company and exchange gifts. While some Japanese families give Christmas presents to their children on Christmas morning, the holiday is primarily associated romance in Japan.

Christmas Eve is actually the focus of most of the Christmas celebration in Japan, although most Japanese don’t get either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day off from work or school. The time for celebration is in the evening on the 24th of December. Friends may get together for a party, but many couples choose to have a special evening alone. While not everyone cares, some people feel especially lonely if they don’t have a date for Christmas Eve, sort of like some people feel on Valentine’s Day in the West.

Confessing your crush to someone on Christmas Eve also has special significance. And no one except the very socially clueless would ask someone of the opposite gender to do something alone with them that evening unless they intended it to be a date because the evening has a particularly romantic connotation.

Going out to eat at classy restaurants, having a romantic evening in a love hotel (a topic for future blogs!), or just walking along the sidewalks and shopping centers to look at Christmas lights in the dark are popular activities for dates on Christmas Eve. Not all of Japan gets a lot of snow each winter (the northern part does, however), but much of the country is cold in December (excluding the tropical-climate southern islands), so couples bundle up on their dates–but fashionably. Many Japanese women wear fashionable skirts year-round, but they may pair them up with a warm coat, tall boots, mittens, scarves and hats.

Typical gifts exchanged between couples on Christmas Eve include cute and handmade items as well as more expensive jewelry and watches. It’s especially traditional for young women to hand-knit scarves (called “mafuraa,” from the English word “muffler,” in Japanese) for their dates or even for a boy to whom they intend to confess on or before Christmas Eve. The young man would then, of course, wear the scarf on their night out in the cold.

Would you like to think of Christmas Eve as a romantic occasion? Would you hand-knit a scarf as a gift if you could?

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20
Apr 10

Saying the Year in Japanese

The last time we talked about language in this blog, we covered how to say the day and date in Japanese. Conspicuously missing was how to state the year. In this short lesson, we’ll take a look at how to pronounce the year in Japanese, but first you’ll need to review the Numbers Lesson.

There are two ways to state the year in Japanese. The first is based on the international Gregorian calendar, in which this year is considered 2010. To state the year in Japanese according to the Gregorian calendar, simply state the number followed by one pronunciation for the word for “year,” which is “nen.” Just remember that 2010 is not “twenty ten,” but actually “two thousand and ten.” For example:

Year Japanese Pronunciation
1910 sen kyuu-haku juu-nen
1920 sen kyuu-haku ni-juu-nen
1930 sen kyuu-haku san-juu-nen
1940 sen kyuu-haku yon-juu-nen
1950 sen kyuu-haku go-juu-nen
1960 sen kyuu-haku roku-juu-nen
1970 sen kyuu-haku nana-juu-nen
1980 sen kyuu-haku hachi-juu-nen
1990 sen kyuu-haku kyuu-juu-nen
2000 ni-sen-nen
2010 ni-sen juu-nen

To get the years in between the decades, just count upwards. For example, 1976 is “sen kyuu-haku nana-juu roku-nen” and 2009 is “ni-sen kyuu-nen.”

There is another way to state the year in Japanese that is based on the Japanese imperial rule. According to this calendar, a year is referred to by the title for the emperor’s reign, the number of years for which he has been crowned emperor at that point, and the word for year, “nen.” (Note: The first year in the emperor’s reign is not referred to as “year 1” [“ichi-nen”], but is instead referred to as “gannen,” which means “original year.”)

Although this system wasn’t widely adopted until the Meiji Era (1868-1912), this system of dating stretches back thousands of years. However, we’ll just worry about the most recent imperial eras here.

Imperial Era Years Applicable
Meiji 1868-1911
Taisho 1912-1925
Showa 1926-1988
Heiwa 1989-present
Year (Gregorian Calendar) Year (Imperial Calendar) Japanese Pronunciation (Imperial Calendar)
1910 Meiji 43 Meiji yon-juu san-nen
1920 Taisho 9 Taisho kyuu-nen
1930 Showa 5 Showa go-nen
1940 Showa 15 Showa juu go-nen
1950 Showa 25 Showa ni-juu go-nen
1960 Showa 35 Showa san-juu go-nen
1970 Showa 45 Showa yon-juu go-nen
1980 Showa 55 Showa go-juu go-nen
1990 Heisei 2 Heisei ni-nen
2000 Heisei 12 Heisei juu ni-nen
2010 Heisei 22 Heisei ni-juu ni-nen

The most recent imperial years are sometimes abbreviated with the roman letters “S” for “Showa” and “H” for “Heisei” on official documents.

So how do we say today’s date? First, let’s use what we learned earlier this month to state, “Today is Tuesday, April 20th” in Japanese:

Kyou wa shigatsu hatsuka kayoubi desu.

Remember that the order is: month, day of the month, day of the week. To add the year to that sentence, you should state it in the following order: year, month, day of the month, day of the week. So “Today is Tuesday, April 20th, 2010 (Heisei 22)” is:

Kyou wa ni-sen juu-nen shigatsu hatsuka kayoubi desu.

-or-

Kyou wa Heisei ni-juu ni-nen shigatsu hatsuka kayoubi desu.

How about stating when you were born? State the date, year first, and finish the sentence with “ni umareta (casual)” or “ni umaremashita (polite)” (“[I] was born.”) So “I was born on October 15th, 1983 (Showa 58)” is:

Watashi wa sen kyuu-haku hachi-juu san-nen juugatsu juugo-nichi ni umareta.

-or-

Watashi wa sen kyuu-haku hachi-juu san-nen juugatsu juugo-nichi ni umaremashita.

-or-

Watashi wa Showa go-juu hachi-nen juugatsu juugo-nichi ni umareta.

-or-

Watashi wa Showa go-juu hachi-nen juugatsu juugo-nichi ni umaremashita.

What year were you born? Practice converting it into the imperial equivalent. State your full birthday in Japanese. Continue practicing by stating the full birthdays of all of your friends and family members.

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9
Apr 10

Saying the Day and Date in Japanese

If you’ve been teaching yourself Japanese with the grammar lessons on this site, you ought to have a firm grasp on basic counting in Japanese. You’ll need to know those numbers to be able to say the date in Japanese—but it’s not as simple as saying the word “one” for the first of a month, for example.

Let’s start with the days of the week. The vocabulary for the days of the week are:

Sunday nichiyoubi
Monday getsuyoubi
Tuesday kayoubi
Wednesday suiyoubi
Thursday mokuyoubi
Friday kinyoubi
Saturday doyoubi

Each day of the week is named after an element or the sun or moon. Interestingly, the word for “Sunday” uses the kanji for “sun” and the word for “Monday” uses the kanji for “moon.” These two days of the week are named after the sun and moon in English as well.

The months of the year are a little easier than the days of the month because they follow a basic pattern. Just state the number of the month in Japanese and add one pronunciation of the word for “month,” “gatsu.”

January ichigatsu
February nigatsu
March sangatsu
April shigatsu
May gogatsu
June rokugatsu
July shichigatsu
August hachigatsu
September kugatsu
October juugatsu
November juuichigatsu
December juunigatsu

Most of the days of the month are simply the basic number in Japanese plus one pronunciation for the word “day,” which is “nichi.” However, there are a few exceptions, which are bolded:

1st tsuitachi 17th juushichi-nichi
2nd futsuka 18th juuhachi-nichi
3rd mikka 19th juuku-nichi
4th yokka 20th hatsuka
5th itsuka 21st nijuuichi-nichi
6th muika 22nd nijuuni-nichi
7th nanoka 23rd nijuusan-nichi
8th yooka 24th nijuuyokka
9th kokonoka 25th nijuugo-nichi
10th tooka 26th nijuuroku-nichi
11th juuichi-nichi 27th nijuushichi-nichi
12th juuni-nichi 28th nijuuhachi-nichi
13th juusan-nichi 29th nijuuku-nichi
14th juuyokka 30th sanjuu-nichi
15th juugo-nichi 31st sanjuuichi-nichi
16th juuroku-nichi

Now you should have enough information to say today’s date, minus the year. But first you’ll need to know the word for “today,” which is “kyou.”

Kyou wa shigatsu kokonoka kinyoubi desu. = Today is Friday, April 9th.

(Notice that the order is month, day of the month, day of the week.)

You might also want to say when your birthday is. The word for “birthday” in Japanese is “tanjoubi.”

Watashi no tanjoubi wa juugatsu juugo-nichi desu. = My birthday is October 15th.

There’s one more set of vocabulary you may need to know when talking about the date—the questions to ask when you don’t know what day it is (or what day someone is going to make plans). Just say the word for “what,” “nan,” and add the common ending for that particular question.

What day of the week? nanyoubi
What month? nangatsu
What day of the month? nan-nichi

Kyou wa nanyoubi desu ka. = What day of the week is it today?

Kyou wa nan-nichi desu ka. = What’s today’s date?

Tanjoubi wa nangatsu desu ka. = What month is your birthday?

When is your birthday? When is your friends’ birthdays? State them all in Japanese. Practice stating the day’s date in Japanese every day from now on.