In the earlier version, an older man, a widower samurai named Ogiwara Shinnojo, is the man who spies Otsuyu each night. Struck by her beauty, he falls in love with her. He does not know at first that she is a ghost. Every time the sun sets, she visits with him, but she leaves before the sun rises with no explanation. When a snooping neighbor spies the woman visiting Ogiwara each night and thinks that there’s something odd about her, he peers into Ogiwara’s bedroom one evening and finds Ogiwara making love to a skeleton. The neighbor tells a Buddhist monk, who warns Ogiwara to stay away from the woman or he will die as well. The monk places spiritual protective barriers around Ogiwara’s home. When Otsuyu returns that evening, she cannot enter the home. She calls forlornly for Ogiwara to come out and join her. Despite the warnings, Ogiwara is too much in love with her to resist. He exits his safe home and follows Otsuyu back to her “home”: a grave. In the morning, Ogiwara is found dead in the open grave. He’s embracing a skeleton.

In the later version, Ogiwara is replaced with a young man named Saburo, a medical student rather than a samurai. Otsuyu’s story is fleshed out–and it turns out that she and Saburo were in love when she was alive. Otsuyu, daughter of a wealthy widower samurai, was sent in life to live in a small home with a single maidservant after the samurai remarried and his new wife did not like Otsuyu. When a doctor visits Otsuyu to check in on her, he takes along his student, Saburo. Saburo and Otsuyu are instantly smitten with one another. Otsuyu begs Saburo to visit her often–and tells him she will die if he goes too long without seeing her–and he promises he will visit her. However, social decorum of the time mandated that he not visit an unwed woman alone, so Saburo relied on tagging along with another of the doctor’s visits. However, the doctor refused to go back, knowing that Saburo had fallen for Otsuyu and disapproving of the match. (In some versions, Saburo falls ill for a long time and becomes bedridden for months. He cannot get a message to his love.)

Otsuyu dies of a broken heart and her maidservant dies in grief at the loss of her mistress. The pair become ghosts who stroll past Saburo’s home at night carrying a peony paper lantern. Saburo does not know his lover has died, so he’s overjoyed by her nightly visits. In this version, another servant of the house spies Saburo in bed with a skeleton. He tells a Buddhist monk, who gives Saburo the news that his love has died and shows him her grave as proof. Grief-stricken, Saburo retreats to his house and the Buddhist monk places protective barriers up to block out the spirits.

Otsuyu and her maidservant continue to visit Saburo at night but cannot enter the home. Hearing Otsuyu sadly call for him makes Saburo more heartbroken and over many nights, he loses his will to live. Other servants pity the sad, dying man and one night remove the protective barriers without Saburo’s knowledge. That night, Otsuyu once again enters the home and makes love to Saburo. He is found dead in the morning with her skeleton in his arms, but he is smiling and content.

Have you ever heard of Botan Darou? Have you seen a movie or stage version? Which version do you prefer, the earlier or the later version?

Don’t speak on your cell phone on a train. This may surprise you since the Japanese are perhaps more attached to their cell phones than even the rest of the world (and they’re a few years ahead of the rest of the world in cell phone technology). However, speaking on your cell phone in Japan is considered rude because it distracts other people. Trains are also notoriously crowded; sometimes there is barely any room to move. You would bother a lot of people to speak on your cell phone. If you must contact someone, text instead of speaking. The “don’t speak on your cell phone on a train” rule isn’t even an implied rule–most trains explicitly request this and post a message throughout the train. Incidentally, keep your voice very quiet if speaking to someone with you on the train. In general, people do not like to hear conversations on trains and often regard foreigners as loud people.

Don’t eat on the train. This is messy and rude. If possible, avoid drinking as well, but if you feel the need (which is not surprising if the train is hot and crowded), a sip of a bottled non-alcoholic beverage is okay. Just make sure not to bump anyone when you get your drink out. On the same note, don’t leave a mess of any kind on the train.

Keep your hands up in crowded trains. In extremely crowded trains, some Japanese men grope unsuspecting women and young girls who can’t identify who in the crowd touched them. To avoid accusation, honest men find it easier to hold onto railings with both hands or to clutch the railing with one hand and an object with another. This shows the women around them that they wouldn’t touch them. Most foreigners aren’t suspected of this behavior, but it doesn’t hurt to show your hands. Also, if you’re male, pay attention to “women-only” cars on some trains. These cars, as the name implies, are for women only and are a courtesy to make women feel there is less risk of sexual harassment.

Have you ever ridden on a Japanese train? Can you think of a few other rules of etiquette on the train? What do you think of the fact that women are sometimes groped on trains?

Sneezing: In the West, you may have heard the superstition that when your ears ring, someone is talking about you. In Japan, a similar superstition is that when you sneeze, someone is talking about you. If you’re like most people, you tend to sneeze more than you suffer from ringing ears, so perhaps a lot of Japanese people are talking about you!

Floating tea stalk: Tea is important to traditional Japanese culture. Traditionally, tea is brewed with tea leaves. One Japanese superstition says that if you notice a green tea stalk floating vertically upright in your cup, you will enjoy good luck.

Upset catfish: In some areas of Japan, a long-standing superstition dictated that when catfish began acting strangely, an earthquake would soon follow. Ancient Japanese who came up with this superstition may have been on to something; some scientists believe that the fish act strangely due to their ability to sense the changes in the earth before humans. However, long before scientific research, the Japanese used to believe the catfish caused the earthquakes! (One particular large catfish, the Namazu, was to blame.) You’ll notice catfish associated with earthquakes even today; the early earthquake warning symbol includes a catfish.

Death and four: In Japanese, the word for death is “shi.” One pronunciation of the number four is also “shi.” So rather than being afraid of the number thirteen, the Japanese are leery of the number four. Some buildings, like hotels and apartment complexes, avoid having a floor or a room numbered four (whether it’s truly the fourth floor or room or not). The dislike for four extends into basic parts of Japanese life, too. For example, when you give someone a gift, make sure it’s not four of an item. (Fruit, dining ware, etc.)

Have you ever encountered these Japanese superstitions? What other Japanese superstitions do you know?

Today, rounin still exist, but they’re not samurai. Modern rounin are young adults who failed their college entrance exams but still hope to attend college. (In Japan, most colleges require that you pass an entrance exam, similar to middle and high school entrance exams.) Rather than take a full-time job, these young people devote the next year to studying as hard as they can in order to pass the entrance exam the next year. They may live with their parents or take on part-time jobs in order to pay rent, but their primary focus over the next year is studying on their own to pass exams. They may attend cram schools or hire tutors–usually students currently attending the school they want to attend who have obviously passed the entrance exam–in order to help them, but otherwise, they’re on their own and must keep up the motivation throughout the year.

Most colleges hold their entrance exams at about the same time each year (toward the beginning of the year; the school year begins in early April). Prospective students can take exams for as many colleges as they please during the entrance exam season, but most choose a handful of colleges so they can focus on the topics they think may be on those particular exams. (Each college makes up its own exams; the more prestigious the school, the more difficult the exam.) The exams are usually only held once a year–in fact,  prospective students usually don’t get a makeup exam if they miss it, so they’ll venture out even if they’re ill. Solely missing an exam can turn a student into a rounin.

Some prospective students continue to fail the yearly exams for the colleges of their choice and they continue to be rounin for more than one year. Of course, they can always decide to go to a less prestigious school with a less difficult exam or to skip college altogether, but since better schooling affords better career opportunities, many students don’t want to give up.

Would you become a rounin or would you rather go to a second-choice school or get a job? Would your parents support your decision?

Banchou Sarayashiki begins with a beautiful servant woman named Okiku who’s indentured to a samurai named Aoyama Tessan. Aoyama seeks to have Okiku as his lover, but she always refuses his advances, so Aoyama schemes to force her to be his own. He hides (in some versions, pays a thief to steal) one of his family’s sacred ten plates (as in the serving dish), for which Okiku is responsible for caring. According to his family law, a servant losing or breaking one of these plates is a crime punishable by death. Okiku panics and counts the plates over and over but only finds nine each time she counts. Aoyama offers Okiku sanctuary from death if she agrees to become his lover, but she still refuses, so he kills her by pushing her down a well.

Okiku returns as a ghost from the well to haunt the samurai, always counting to nine and shrieking at the end of her count. At last her soul is laid to rest when a stranger (a neighbor or an exorcist, depending on the version) shouts “Ten!” at the end of her counting to make her think she’s found the tenth plate.

In some versions, Okiku actually does break the tenth plate knowingly. In this version, she’s in love with Aoyama, but as she’s a servant and he’s a lord, he’s engaged to another. Okiku’s decision to break the plate is to test Aoyama’s love for her, to see if he’s willing to enforce the rule of killing any servant responsible for the loss of one of the plates. Aoyama does kill her by pushing her down the well in this version, even after hearing that it was a test of his love–but he’s angry that she would go so far to test him. In this version, though, Aoyama is not horrified by her ghost. When he meets the ghost and sees her counting one through nine, he’s overcome with guilt and with her beauty and so he kills himself through seppuku (“harakiri”) and joins her.

What similarities and differences between Banchou Sarayashiki and Yotsuya Kaidan can you list? Which story do you prefer? Of the two mentioned Banchou Sarayashiki versions, do you prefer the one in which Okiku loves Aoyama or the one in which she spurns him?

Yotsuya Kaidan: Originally a kabuki play from the early 19th century, Yotsuya Kaidan features a ghost woman named Oiwa out for revenge. The tale goes that an impoverished master-less samurai named Tamiya Iemon falls in love with a lovely woman named Oiwa. Oiwa’s father thinks Iemon is not good enough for his daughter, and in a fit of rage, Iemon kills Oiwa’s father with his sword, unbeknownst to Oiwa. He consoles Oiwa and promises to help her find her father’s killer. They marry and Oiwa becomes pregnant, but Iemon soon becomes bored with his lovely bride.

Iemon falls in love with another woman–a wealthy woman named Oume–and eventually woos her. When told by Oume’s grandfather that if he weren’t married, he could have Oume and all of her wealth and prospects, Iemon decides to kill his pregnant wife by poisoning her food. (In some versions, Oume is less attractive than Oiwa and it is she who orders Oiwa’s food poisoned so Oiwa will become deformed and Oume will have an easier time wooing Iemon.)

Iemon continues to poison Oiwa’s food and watches coldly as she suffers, becomes disfigured and nearly dies. Thinking she’s dead, Iemon leaves to tell Oume, but Oiwa is only unconscious, although she suffers a miscarriage. (In some versions, she’s already given birth and the baby is fine.) Iemon pretends to be happy that she survives, only to push her off a cliff when he takes her on a walk shortly thereafter.

The night before Iemon’s inevitable wedding to Oume, he’s haunted by the disfigured ghost of Oiwa. He sees her face in the dim light of his lantern and he thinks he hears the word “Betrayal!” but he brushes it off. During his wedding to Oume the next day, he lifts up his new bride’s veil only to see the disfigured face of Oiwa, who shrieks “Betrayal!” at him. Scared out of his mind, Iemon unsheathes his samurai sword and beheads the apparition… Only to see the head of his bride Oume roll to the floor.

Hearing ghostly laughter, Iemon runs from the wedding and hides in the disheveled shack he shared with Oiwa. He hears a knocking at the door and sees Oiwa when he answers, so he beheads the ghost–only to discover that it was Oume’s grandfather whom he killed.

Driven mad, Iemon runs to the cliff where he shoved Oiwa off the ledge. Hearing laughter, he almost jumps but stops. Witnesses recount that despite the samurai having a change of heart, they saw a ghastly woman push the man off the cliff before vanishing into thin air.

In the future we may review more Japanese ghost stories. Do you want to learn about more ghost stories? Have you heard a different variation of the legend of Oiwa and Iemon?

If you spend a length of time in Japan–or even if you’re just there for vacation–you may be asked to join a Japanese family for dinner at their home. Knowing ahead of time what’s expected of you as a guest can help you leave your Japanese hosts with a favorable impression. Although most Japanese are more lenient with foreigners and won’t be terribly offended if you don’t act like a proper Japanese guest, they’re sure to appreciate the gesture if you take the time to learn basic manners for guests in Japan.

When joining your Japanese hosts for dinner, you’re not expected to bring a food dish to be eaten during the dinner. You are, however, expected to bring a wrapped gift for your hosts, if you’re following Japanese etiquette. Ideally, you will choose a gift that represents the country you’re from, or even more specifically, the state, province, or city you’re from. Gifts that cannot be easily purchased in Japan are the best (although, if invited after you’ve arrived, you may need to purchase them from a US importer or even have the items shipped ahead of time). At least one gift for each family member in the hosting family (in one wrapped package) is even better.

Think small gifts that are neither incredibly expensive nor incredibly cheap, but erring on the side of inexpensive is wise so you don’t pressure your hosts into thinking that they owe you for an expensive gift. Non-perishable foods, beverages, travel books, calendars, stationery items, apparel, and tea (although avoid green tea, as giving green tea as a gift is usually associated with funerals) are just a few good ideas. If you can’t get anything to represent your hometown, at least bring some gift, even if it’s Japanese.

When you arrive at your hosts’ home, present them with your gift with both hands. It’s generally considered more polite to pass anything, especially a gift, with two hands instead of one. Your hosts will likely thank you and then put the gift aside. It’s proper Japanese etiquette not to open a gift in front of the gift giver, so don’t pressure your hosts to open the gift before you leave or be offended when you see that they don’t. Don’t forget to remove your shoes at the door as well.

Have you ever been a guest in a Japanese home? What gift, if any, did you bring? Do you like the idea of not opening gifts in front of the gift givers?

Fukuwarai (“lucky laugh”): This game is somewhat like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, although a human face is used. Blindfolded, children must take the shapes for eyes, ears, mouth, nose (and sometimes eyebrows, mustache, etc.) and try to properly place them on an outline of a face. Unlike Pin the Tail on the Donkey, this is traditionally performed sitting down with the face on a table and every participant gets his or her own face to make. Once finished, all of the participants remove their blindfolds and laugh at all of the faces, sometimes (in good humor) saying who in the family each face resembles.

Hanetsuki (“shuttle passing”): This game is often called Japanese badminton. It’s similar to badminton except that there is no net and the two players simply try to pass the shuttle (called hane) back and forth. The hane also looks different from a Western shuttle and is usually a very small round ball with feathers attached. The paddles, called hagoita, are ornately decorated in traditional Japanese style. Some people even collect these paddles without using them.

Sugoroku (“two sixes”): A board game that’s existed for over a thousand years, sugoroku is another traditional New Year’s game to play. A bit similar to backgammon, you roll a die and advance across the board. There’s a simpler version that’s popular with children that’s closer to Snakes & Ladders.

Karuta (“cards”): Playing a traditional Japanese card game is another common activity around New Year’s. However, karuta is not like the card games you tend to think of. Instead, cards are arranged face up on a surface. Each card has something on it–a vocabulary word, lines of a poem, pictures–and the goal of the game is to find the right card and grab it before the other people playing do. Someone directing the game will call out whatever he or she wants you to choose (reading the first few lines of a poem and asking you to complete the poem, saying a vocabulary word in one language and asking you to find it in another, etc.) and it’s up to the other players to find the right card. This is a great game for learning vocabulary words.

Christmas Eve is actually the focus of most of the Christmas celebration in Japan, although most Japanese don’t get either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day off from work or school. The time for celebration is in the evening on the 24th of December. Friends may get together for a party, but many couples choose to have a special evening alone. While not everyone cares, some people feel especially lonely if they don’t have a date for Christmas Eve, sort of like some people feel on Valentine’s Day in the West.

Confessing your crush to someone on Christmas Eve also has special significance. And no one except the very socially clueless would ask someone of the opposite gender to do something alone with them that evening unless they intended it to be a date because the evening has a particularly romantic connotation.

Going out to eat at classy restaurants, having a romantic evening in a love hotel (a topic for future blogs!), or just walking along the sidewalks and shopping centers to look at Christmas lights in the dark are popular activities for dates on Christmas Eve. Not all of Japan gets a lot of snow each winter (the northern part does, however), but much of the country is cold in December (excluding the tropical-climate southern islands), so couples bundle up on their dates–but fashionably. Many Japanese women wear fashionable skirts year-round, but they may pair them up with a warm coat, tall boots, mittens, scarves and hats.

Typical gifts exchanged between couples on Christmas Eve include cute and handmade items as well as more expensive jewelry and watches. It’s especially traditional for young women to hand-knit scarves (called “mafuraa,” from the English word “muffler,” in Japanese) for their dates or even for a boy to whom they intend to confess on or before Christmas Eve. The young man would then, of course, wear the scarf on their night out in the cold.

Would you like to think of Christmas Eve as a romantic occasion? Would you hand-knit a scarf as a gift if you could?

First, you should be aware that while many Japanese homes and most Japanese restaurants have Western-style tables and chairs for dining, many more have only Japanese style tables, which are positioned very close to the floor. The participants in the meal are expected to sit on the ground, typically in the seiza position, which is a kneeling position in which you rest your shins on the floor and your rear on your feet. When you’re in a more casual setting, it’s socially acceptable for men to sit cross-legged and for women to sit with their legs crossed to one side. Depending on the setting, you may be sitting directly on the floor–on a tatami mat–or on a cushion. You may even have a chair with back support that goes directly on the ground.

Using chopsticks is considered the more polite way to dine in Japan, although you may use knives and forks in Western restaurants. You may still be able to request knives and forks even in Japanese restaurants and households, but your Japanese guests or hosts will be impressed if you use chopsticks correctly.  Chopsticks help you take smaller portions so you won’t be shoveling your food in all at once. When ingesting soup, you can use the chopsticks to remove the large ingredients in the soup and can then sip the soup broth directly from the bowl. Sipping sounds are considered polite, not rude, in Japan when not done in excess.

Many Japanese meals are shared meals, with the food served in the middle of the table. Use your chopsticks to grab a small portion of food to place on your plate and then eat from the plate. Don’t take more food than you can eat, as it’s good manners not to leave any food on your plate.

Like in the West, it’s impolite to burp or discuss gross or distressing topics at dinner. You should also refrain from blowing your nose and excuse yourself to the restroom if blowing your nose becomes necessary. When you’ve finished, try to put your dishes back to the position they started in, with your chopsticks in their holder and dishes and lids stacked as they were served to you.

If you’re enjoying alcohol, be aware that it’s proper table manners to serve others and not yourself. When you notice that a friend’s cup is empty, you can ask if he or she’d like more and pour it for him or her. Do not pour the alcohol for yourself or ask someone else to do so; your friends should notice that you need a refill.